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There is a subtle, but critical, difference between a treat and a reward. You may not be aware of the difference consciously, but we all react to the difference in our behavior and attitude.
In D/s terms, a treat is something given to a sub by the domme for which there is no particular reason. It is a gift...usually unexpected... out of the goodness of the domme's heart.
A reward, on the other hand, is a return of favor. It implies a quid-pro-quo; a 'this-for-that'. You are getting this favorable activity BECAUSE you did yada yada so well. They are incentives for good behavior.
Positive reinforcement is much different than incentive-based motivation!
The message a domme sends when she gives rewards is that, at least one reason for being a good sub is to gain the reward.
I don't feel this is the correct message to send. I don't want a sub to serve me (domme-centric) in order to - or in the hopes of - getting a scene (sub-centric).
Consider this: When a sub receives a reward, he is told he EARNED this. In other words, It's due him. He created the opportunity...he has himself to thank. Contrast this with a treat. A treat is given to him as a gift...for no direct reason. He is THANKFUL to the domme, for she is the sole reason he is enjoying the activity.
Is it true that I'm more likely to give a sub a treat if he's behaved well and I'm feeling good about him? Of course!!! But there is no promise, no commitment on my part. If he begins to feel that there is - that he's OWED a scene for good behavior - he can immediately write it out for a long, long time.
Some may say this is semantics, but I have found that men react to the subliminal message.
My love,
Rika.
© 2001 MsRika
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