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Passion, Humility & Gratitude
"Gratitude is possibly the most important attribute
a person can have in any relationship."
There are lessons to be learned when one studies the belief structures of major religions. The discipline of service to God and striving to learn to better serve are repeated themes. In NO WAY am I implying that service to a domme is the same as service to God. It is my belief, and that of my religion, that no human approaches the level or power of God. However, many of the same techniques taught throughout the ages can be readily applied to the discipline of serving a dominant partner. In particular, the techniques of Passion, Humility, and Gratitude are particularily pertinent.
Passion
When a man submits, he must do so with his whole heart and mind. This is to say, he must strive to perform his duties with full intent of action and with a passion and commitment to service.
There is nothing so unfruitful as a man serving without conviction. Even if he is performing a menial or unpleasant task, he should be able to demonstrate his dedication with alacrity, energy, interest, and
persistance. In short he should be passionate about any opportunity to serve.
Typical situations in which a man might fail to serve passionately might be: after climax, when his task is not one which tickles his fantasy, and when he's not feeling well. I, for one, tend to excuse the last, depending on the nature of his malady. However, I fully expect a man to MOTIVATE HIMSELF to retain his passion. If his actions fulfill his responsibilities in body only, and do not include a commitment from his mind, he is not fully serving me. Personally, I will not tolerate such insolence.
In such cases, a man should have his lack of passion pointed out to him. Additionally, he should be left to consider the gifts provided to him (see Gratitude Later). If these fail to motivate a sense of comittment to action on his part, I consider banning his service for a specified time. Alternatively, some other form of punishment is in order (obviously not something he would like).
Humility
I'm reminded of a story in which a man, understanding that it is a virtue to humble himself before his superior, did so with great furvor. So proud of himself, he proceded to make everyone around him understand just how humble he was. This he continued until he became so enamored of his own ability to be humble, he became conceited!
This paradoxical story is something I see in submissive men often. They hear the words, 'humble yourselves before your mistresses...'. They love that idea. In fact, so enamored of their humility, they begin to bring attention to what they are willing to do for a woman: how submissive they are, how much of themselves they are giving up for their dominant partner. With all this love of their humility, they fail to remain humble. It becomes a challenge to see how strong they can be in being humble. They want to be praised and rewarded for this capacity. In doing so, the sub forces his partner to acknowledge his humblness . A person who demonstrates true humility does so quietly and subtly. They would never even consider boasting about, or calling attention to, their actions.
Gratitude
Gratitude is possibly the most important attribute a person can have in any relationship. This is one of those 'two-way-street' emotions that both dominant and submissive partner share. In a healthy relationship, both partners consider themselves lucky to be with the other, and each appreciates the contributions the other makes to the relationship.
In the D/s realm, it's not always so easy for a sub to recognize the gifts of a dominant partner, especially when she doesn't give him 'what he wants'.
- The trick to achieving gratitude is in looking for, and recognizing gifts.
- The sub must learn a new sensitivity. He must strive to sensitize himself to her unique approach to him. Every attention, every action, every recognition - no matter how trivial or unpleasant - is a wonderful opportunity to realize the gift of dominance. Every gift is worthy of
gratitude.
Gratitude can be shown in many ways. The practice of thanking a dominant partner for any attention is quite common, but can become monotonous. Don't assume that's what is desired. Often better than a 'thank you Mistress' is a continued recognition of her gifts through a commitment to passion and humility; a better level of commitment to service. Action is always better than words.
Maintain your commitment to these principles and dedicate yourself to learning how to achieve 100% service. You'll both be happier.
- Rika.
© 2002 MsRika`
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